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What Should I Do When Living By Myself I Have Found Causes My Depression.?
Jun 7, 2009 Author: Panic | Filed under: Depression ReliefDo I just move in with anyone that will just be around to keep mr company or do I try to become happy by myself ? I just don’t see this happening though.
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34 Responses for "What Should I Do When Living By Myself I Have Found Causes My Depression.?"
buy a pet, cat or dog usually helps loneliness
get a friend to be your roomate or you can look for one depending how big.
get a pet
if thats not an option, see if a friend or family member would like to have a roomate
good luck
The exact same thing happened to me. After I broke up with my long term boyfriend that I was living with for 3 years I was suddenly living alone for the first time in my life. The best way to overcome this depression is to adapt to living by yourself and learning how to be happy by yourself without living with anyone else. You can still go out in public, hang out with friends, go out on dates and visit other people even if you live alone.
Buy yourself stuff.
Find a Boyfriend
First, you CAN be happy by yourself. Sincerely. Just don’t think of it as ALONE meaning LONELY. You could get a pet, but you could also try to appreciate that you are your own person. You don’t answer to anyone. If you want to come home and take a hot bath and read a book in the tub, you can. You can go to the store and buy your favorite foods, rent a movie you really want to see, make yourself a nice dinner and watch your movie with no interruptions!
If I were you, I would embrace being by myself…because when you’re not looking, THAT’S when someone will come along and you’ll find your perfect mate. Believe me…living alone is MUCH better than living with someone you can barely stand. TREAT yourself! You’re not lonely…you’re just taking the time to do things to improve YOU! Take some classes…learn to play a musical instrument…learn to ice skate! What’s stopping you?
find a hobby or get a pet
u go to bookstores, galleries, libraries, video stores, malls, restaraunts and you dont’ settle for a ‘mr. make me happy’ you will find friends. Go online too to find groups to join!
Satsang: Swami Sukhabodhananda
Commitment is the language of the wise; complaint is that of fools. Commitment is a responsibility and it includes accountability.
Our weaknesses result in disappointment. To overcome disappointment, boost your strengths. The greatest strength comes from the energy of commitment that brings excellence in all walks of life. Few people traverse the road of success without a puncture or two, but it is commitment to excellence that takes them through.
To be committed is not being ‘stuck’; it is an integration of one’s being. If you are committed to honour your word, the base self in you will discourage you. If your energies are low, you will succumb. If you follow the higher self, the lower self will serve you, slowly getting integrated with the higher. In such a state there will be integrity. Without integrity life is shallow.
You are both actor and thinker. Every time you lie, the thinker warns you that you are lying and the actor asks you to shut up and continue telling lies. It is like riding a chariot with two horses going in two different directions. With commitment, however, you are a person of integrity, and excellence is attainable.
Can we test before we trust? >>
Like an eagle, can we test before we trust?
Eagles lay eggs on a cliff or high peak in nest of grass and thorns. When the eggs hatch, the weight of the eaglets exerts pressure and the thorns start pricking the newborns. Then the female pushes the eaglets out of the nest. As the eaglets nearly fall, the male picks them and places them back in the nest.
Meanwhile, the female removes the upper layer of grass, so that the eaglets rest directly on the thorns that prick them. The eaglets are yet to test their wings. Now the male pushes the eaglets out of the nest. This process continues till such time that the eaglets are able to foresee the danger in falling and start using their wings. Slowly they realise their ability to use their wings and start flying.
Observe the commitment of an eagle reflected in the way it executes family responsibilities and the way it conducts itself while parenting. Bring similar commitment to all walks of life; be it in the family, at work, in society or in your spiritual life. Excellence happens when there is love that helps you to grow and contribute.
Commitment also involves dropping illusions. We do not see the world as it is; we see it projected through our verbose minds. Our minds are filled with thoughts and words. Words represent experiences. Words are also influenced by memory. From the past, we see the present. Hence we create illusions created by words, but we must filter them wisely.
The mind creates dreams. The aware self in you sees reality. Awareness without the ‘I’ is the higher self. The mind with its illusions is the lower self. Have the commitment to operate from the higher self.
Through commitment, balance all walks of your life… family, work, social and spiritual. Creativity is to balance all walks of life. Creativity is just not creating something new always. Creativity brings excellence in one’s life. It is a state of well-being. Well-being creates completion. When one is complete, one is alive and vibrant in all walks of life.
Satsang: Swami Sukhabodhananda
Why shouldn’t I indulge in sensation?
You attempt to remove inner incompletion through indulgence. You feel different sensations would give you completion. But the greed for sensations increases incompletion. The desire for more makes you want more rather than feel complete.
During sleep there is no wanting, as you are complete. This does not mean condemning your sense organs. Keep them alive and pure. Sensations are fine as long as you do not get addicted to them. An addiction happens in ignorance.
How should I relax?
Learn the art of balancing life. Do not put all your eggs into one basket. Learn to open your body centre through exercise, yoga, deep breathing… learn to open your mind. There is joy when you learn and when you keep your mind open to new possibilities. Learn to open up your bliss centre.
A prince met Lord Buddha whose ‘presence’ and ‘being’ inspired him to be a monk. The prince was a great musician and led a luxurious life. After initiation, he went to the other extreme. He renounced everything. He started fasting vigorously and walked on thorns.Buddha inquired, “If the strands of the guitar are very loose, can you play good music?” “No”, replied the prince. “If the strands of the guitar are very tight, can you still play good music?” “No”, replied the prince.
“Don’t go to extremes, it is only through right tuning of the strands that you can play good music. Similarly, balance your life well and automatically music would flow into your life”, advised Lord Buddha.
What steps should I take in order to relax? >>
What steps should I take in order to relax?
Mostly, tensions emerge from the way your mind transcribes your experience. For example, a student might enjoy running but when it is made a punishment, running creates tension. The stronger the waves, the more a surfer enjoys it. He is totally present in the moment. There are no interfering thoughts in him. In such space something in him makes him very alive to the life around him.
Be in the present, it is joyful. Live from the ‘higher self’, not from the ‘lower self’. The ‘higher self’ encourages you, as it is filled with positiveness. The ‘lower self’ is an interfering self. It discourages you. It acts more like an obstacle.
Relax your body and mind. When thoughts emerge, see them as a wonder. See the beauty of your thoughts. Do not fight with them. See them like a play. Slowly, you create a synergy with your thoughts. But whenever possible, be without thoughts. Learn the art of being empty. Do not verbalise an experience. Then your mind relaxes.
What is the difference between an ambitious and a meditative attitude ?
It is like darkness and light. Ambitions keep us in a whirlpool of tensions in the hope that we will be happy. They want us to be like others or better than others and in the process you become bitter.
Meditation awakens your awareness. Once your awareness is of a high order, you realise the foolishness of comparison. You would not allow others’ success to define your failure. You would see the beauty of ‘what is’ and not get lost in ‘what should be’.
Everyone is unique. Everyone is incomparable. You would learn the art of seeing beauty even in imperfection. You would participate in the miracle of life than being busy in judging life. You would listen to the mantra of life or the song of life. Your listening would be with your heart. You will hear music. With this, your perception awakens to newer heights.
maybe you should live with some one, but when you choose try to pick up some one you know or at least try to know her/him for couple days before moving on. not to be stuck with bad people instead of depression
good luck
well i’ll talk to you dogmicjoe@yahoo.com so u won’t be lonely. try hi5.com for friends.
Get yourself a purpose, a focus. When the mind is busy doing things, the mind doesn’t have time for depression. Surrounding yourself with “just any man” will probably not bring you the happiness and contentment you seek. Better off getting yourself a pet or two. (if all else fails…….you can have me as a pet)
You must force yourself not to isolate. However, this does not mean that you should hook up with someone in the hopes of feeling better. After all, if you find someone who wants to be with you now, how are they going to feel when you begin to get better. Will they try to sabotage your better health so that you will stay with them and be depressed?
In my experience, some of the most caring, friendly people can be found in your local church community. The church needs people like you – people genuinely seeking honest relationships with others. Merry CHRISTmas.
Have you considered sharing a living space?…
Also…I would encourage you to get involved in some way helping others…There is just something that helps lift us emotionally when we live beyond our self…
You find someone that want to be around, who likes you and cares about you, and will help you with your situation..that shouldnt be too hard.
How old are you? I have the exact same situation. You can email me if you like & I’ll tell you what to expect. It’s not at all easy.
But another answer here was to get a pet, preferably a dog – that is an excellent suggestion! It’s a definite – It is amazing at how much difference it makes. Honest!
Whatever you do, the worst thing is to get a roommate. Don’t do it!
You may want something different from what is. If you didn’t want, you would be happy.
Loneliness is not Aloneness. One is wanting another to be with you, and the other is pure joy of your own company.
I also live alone with the kids coming to visit from time to time. I just stay busy with hobbies and work or go out with friends. Maybe adopt a pet. I hope your ok, this time of year really sucks for me but i manage
dont move in with someone just to have company, or expect them to keep you company,,,,,, you must learn to be alone, without being lonely,,,,,,,, enjoy this time in your life,,, when you can relax at home,,,, do as you wish,,,,,,, also though, develop your social life,,,,,, invite people over,,, even if just for snacks and a movie,,,,,, offer to babysit,,, do things so that your are not alone at home all the time,,,,, exercise,,, take up a hobby,,,, stay busy,,,,,,, so that when you are home its your refuge,, where you rest,,,,,, i would think loneliness, as opposed to living alone, is what is making you sad,,,,,,,,,
Loneliness generally visits all of us at one time or another in our lives and we wonder how to cure loneliness. Feelings of loneliness can occur at any time of the day or night and are most prevalent around holidays or special occasions. Loneliness is an intense feeling of being deserted or abandoned by everyone. If left untreated, loneliness can lead to other problems such as depression, feelings of uselessness, and lack of self-worth.
It is possible to ease your loneliness or even get rid of the feelings of loneliness altogether. All you need to do is get busy doing things that take your mind off of the problem.
Consider these tips on how to cure loneliness:
Keep Busy. If you are lonely, don’t dwell on the fact. Get up and get out! Go somewhere where there are a lot of people. Don’t worry if you don’t know any of them; sometimes being around other people can help brighten your spirits. Other simple things you can do to keep busy are to join a club, take some classes at the YMCA, volunteer at a non-profit organization, or take up a hobby that requires mental concentration. The point is to find something that interests you and run with.
Get Involved. Your neighborhood and your church are two great places to start getting involved. On the surface this might sound like the same thing as keeping busy. Getting involved in something will require a little more time and lot more of your attention, but that is what you want. So commit yourself to some cause or charity that you feel passionate about. The more involved you get, the more people you will meet, the less and less loneliness will be an issue. Look around at the people you know who do not experience loneliness. Chances are, they are busy and involved people.
Help Other Lonely People. There are a lot of people out there like yourself: people who are lonely and don’t know how to cope with their loneliness. If you look for those people and strive to help cure their loneliness, in the end you will also be helping yourself to cure your own loneliness.
See it for What it Is. You will need to start to view loneliness as a choice and not as a defined way of life. This means that you choose to be lonely when you do not really have to be lonely. Try being happy for a change and you will see the difference a smile will make. Just as feelings of loneliness breed more feelings of loneliness, feeling of happiness can bring about more feelings of happiness. If necessary, join a group that deals with feeling lonely. A group setting is designed to help you develop an optimistic attitude.
Change your Thought Pattern. I don’t know why, but people who feel lonely and depressed tend to watch shows and read materials that reinforce their depressed mood. Are you listening to music about heartbroken people? Are you watching movies that require a box of tissues? What you need to do is change your way of thinking! Start listening to uplifting music, read inspirational writing — such as poems or the Bible — and start watching uplifting TV shows. All of these will help to change your negative thought patterns.
These are only some of the ways you can help to ease or eliminate your feelings of loneliness. There are others out there; all you have do is use your imagination. Also remember drugs and alcohol are not remedies for loneliness, they will only worsen the symptoms and ruin your physical health as well. No matter what you do to ease your loneliness, try to seek out remedies to loneliness that involve getting to know new people and making new friends. These are always the best way to change your thought patterns which will help you move on.
i would either ask someone very close to me that had some problem with their own house or didnt have their own house or i would get a pet, but then again im a big animal lover
If you feel like you can’t be happy by yourself..then get a roommate or just spend a lot of time out with friends. Don’t think about it too much and just keep busy. People sometime get depressed when they have nothing to do but be alone with their thoughts…besides people are social creatures and we need interaction.
I hope this helped.
Vicky
Id go to a counsiler/specialist and talk to them about your problems and see if there is anyway they can help you out. Next option try and find a man and once you have really attached yall move in together. Or try living on you own but dont stay home all the time get out and be with family and friends that way it takes your mind off of living alone for most of the day. Hopefully after awhile you will start liking living on your own being able to do whatever you want to do to it and everything because it is all yours. But if all else fails then I guess try living with someone that will keep you company. Hope this helps some.
how about a housemate to share the house and expenses. If its somebody you could eat with and see a movie, etc. it might help. There are roomate services some are very thorough in their screening, they match you up with compatible people.
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